Wednesday, September 2, 2009

The Internet LIVES!

WAAHA. HA. HA. (Supposed to be a evil scary laugh. Cruela Devil style.)Today was supposed to be the day that the company I work for was shutting down all non-work related web sites but looky looky I'm still able to get on the good ole blog!

Another thing the company was supposed to do but hasn't was give us yearly raises. I mean really why even do a yearly review and rate me on performance if I am not getting a raise for it? I guess I will just be thankful that I still have a decent job. Things could be worse. Things could always be worse.

Like if my husband got laid off from his job for 8 months then I got fired from mine for 6 weeks and we had 2 car payments, a motorcycle payment, a mortgage and other junk. Ending up having to sell the bike and getting the house foreclosed on. That would be worse.
Wait.... that did happen, just last year.

I just hope that it doesn't get any worse now.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

RTT: I'm back!

Taking vacation days is awesome! I did pretty much nothing productive but it was waaaayyy better than doing actual work! I meant to clean the carpets and give the dog a bath but in the four days I was off work I didn't get either of those done. Oh well I did get some new clothes thanks to my parents giving me birthday money!
WOO HOO!

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I have decided to cut chocolate completely out of my diet. Right after I eat the chocolate cake my mom made for my birthday and I finish off these last 5 candy bars.

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Last night a bird or fifty exploded on my car. I usually don't park under the tree outside my apartment building but last night I did. And my car took a beating of poo. (Ok really this happened like almost a week ago but I haven't washed it off yet and it just looks like it happened last night. Yeah its gross and the car wash station is literally 10 feet from my building but again doing nothing is way better than doing work. Plus its been overcast the last few days. Really it has. I promise.)

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I really need to start back working out. I have probably gained like 10 pounds over this weekend by eating way too much and sitting on the couch all day. Hopefully tonight I can start running again. Hopefully.

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Well this may be my last post, for a while anyways. They are taking away most Internet sites at work and I have no computer or Internet at home. So that sucks but oh well, I haven't been writing as much as I thought I would anyways.

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Random Random Random...Tuesday Thoughts

An older lady came in to the bank today with her daughter to make a withdrawal. It was so sad because the mother was totally out of her mind (like dementia, I'm totally not making fun of her). I have a great aunt that is suffering from some type of dementia and I cant imagine what she and her immediate family is going through. And it got me thinking... I don't want to live with or die from something like Alzheimer's or dementia. I hope and pray that this never awful disease never effects me.

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Ok the above statement sounds really selfish, so in that case I will hope and pray for you too.

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Speaking of dying, those Lucinda Bassett commercials on the radio make me want to gouge my eyeballs out with spoons and swallow them (which would probably kill me)! She is doing a commercial for depression, stress, anxiety and she sounds so freaking depressed herself! I mean really she could at least pretend to be happy so that people would want to buy this junk.

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K so I googled Lucinda Bassett and in the first few things that came up it said Lucinda Bassett scam... yeah that should let ya know something right there.

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Cant wait until Friday so that my extra long birthday weekend can start. Don't really have plans yet but I am sure laying on the couch watching HGTV and TLC will be sooooo much better than working.

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I do believe that I have a true addiction to home improvement/design/cake making/food challenges/makeovers/anything that comes on TLC (except for Baby Story and those medical mystery shows) and HGTV.

Maybe Lucinda Bassett can help me.

Probably all that she would have to do is start to talk to me in that low mono-tone voice and I would surrender just so she would stop.

Happy Tuesday!

Friday, August 21, 2009

Things the dog has chewed

And in some cases eaten in the past 3 months:

~tooth paste tube
~liquid makeup tube
~CHOCOLATE protein bar
~underwear and socks(both of which were dirty. ewww)
~a shelf on the entertainment center (now super glued back together)
~my fingers
~my toes
~my hair(both on my head and on the floor)
~my ears
~remote batteries(bet he wont chew those again!)
~remote
~three combs(Hubs should've learned his lesson the first time)
~stuffed duck toy including stuffing and squeaker
~cat poop- courtesy of our neighbors
~several sticks and twigs
~cigarette butts-again from the neighbors
~a few dip cans
~water bottles
~two floor rugs
~carpet, in three places(there goes my $300 deposit)
~his leash
~neighbor's cat's ear
~Hubs' visor
~his food bowl
~his own paws
~brand new pair of red heels(he was almost killed for this. Sorry PETA, ok not really.)
~bathroom cabinet(oh well the deposit is gone anyways)

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Mommy, I want to start school too!

As much as I like my job (really I do!) I feel like I keep hitting a rather large, brick wall. It just feels like, because I am young and look even younger, no one takes me seriously some days. Other days I am fine and am heard and feel like I have an impact and do a good job and all that jazz.

I guess what is boils down to is that when I work on the sales side of things I lose confidence. I don't really like to sell people things and I hate to feel like I am being pushy. I don't want to sell people a product that they may not really even want or have any use for so I don't seem to open as many accounts as some others do. I just suck as a sales person.

I can follow policy and procedure all day long and I am good at that. Once the sale is made and the actual account opening is ready to be done I am fine. I have my set of regulations to follow and viola! Simple.

So this coming to these conclusions over the past year made me think... I should go back to school so that I can advance myself in this company. I love the company I work for and the people here I just am not the best at customer service. I have always wanted to be in accounting, that is the whole reason at 18 I got into banking. I thought that I would get to go back to school way before now but finances and life issues got a little in the way of that goal.

But the putting off ends... well in my mind now but in reality not until the spring semester (hopefully) starts so that I can gather the funds and have plenty of time to enroll and get good classes at the times I want. WOO HOO!

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

My mind is too dull for RTT today, anyways...

I think that my car battery is about to die. Its really struggling to start... ugh I really don't have the money to get a new battery but hopefully its just a battery and not something worse and more expensive.

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For some odd reason when I typed the above, the nursery rhyme "There Was an Old Lady(who swallowed a fly)" came to mind. I used to love that one as a kid.

I don't know why she swallowed the fly-Perhaps she'll die.

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Do most people have pictures of just themselves on their work desks? My job is basically filling in for any one that has time off (vacation, sick, training, and all that BS) so I am usually sitting at other people's desks and today the desk I am at has several pictures on it, but one is of just them... It's sort of freaking me out because it's like they are looking at me.

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What kind of kid says "Perhaps"?? I am thinking that we southernized the rhyme and said "I guess she'll die."

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That's all I've got. See my mind really was dull today.

Happy Tuesday!

Friday, August 14, 2009

A true FML moment

(BTW this didnt happen to me.)

Last week I checked into my hotel in Tampa and was a bit lonely. I thought, I'll call one of those girls you see advertised in phone books like escorts and such.

I picked up the phone book and found an ad for a girl calling herself Erogonique, a lovely girl, bending over in the photo. She had all the right curves in all the right places, beautiful long wavy hair, long graceful legs...... well, you get the picture!

I figured, what the heck, give her a call.

"Hello," the woman says .

God, she sounded sexy.


Afraid I would lose my nerve if I hesitated I rushed right in. "Hi, I hear you give a great massage and I'd like you to come to my room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with you. I'm in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it hard, I want it hot, and I want it now.
Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you've got in your bag of tricks. We'll go hot and heavy all night; tie me up, cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and everything! Now, how does that sound?"



"That sounds fantastic," she says, "but you need to press 9 for an outside line."

Wednesday, August 12, 2009

When you're dreaming with a broken heart it's hard to wake up

This post is mainly to encourage myself that things will get better. Hopefully if anyone is reading they will be encouraged too.


Psalm 147:3 He healeth the broken in heart and bindeth up their wounds


Psalm 56:8 O my child, lay your heart in My hand and let Me heal it. Yea, let Me gather up thy tears, for they are precious to Me.



Ecclessastes 3: 1-8 There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.



~It seems as though now is my season for a part of me dying, being uprooted, tearing down, weeping, mourning, scattering stones, refraining, searching, throwing away, being silent, hating, and war. Nothing seems to be going the way I had planned. But I know that God does have a plan and this is apparently a part of it. I just dont see the light or the meaning behind it all.




~Right now it seems that I am at war. War is breaking out in my marriage, in my finances, with friends, and in thier lives, and in the lives of my family. I know that this is a learing and growing experience but it is so hard to think positive when the situation seems so hopeless. So the above verses I will read every day and they will come to pass I just have to have faith and be strong and know that everything happens for a reason.

Tuesday, August 11, 2009

RTT: My thoughts, exactly

The a/c went out in the apartment Sunday night. Yesterday before anyone came to "fix" it it was 90* inside with ceiling fans going. I say "fix" because although they fixed the part where the a/c wasn't cold they didn't fix the thermostat to regulate the temperature. So I have to call them again, take the dog to my parents again, let them spoil him and give him too much water again, so that he pees and I have to take him out at least 8 more times again, go in late to work again.

And my ice maker still doesn't work and this is the third time that I have told them about it. Obviously the maintenance people are not multi-taskers... they must all be men.

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Its best to wash out the dog kennel immediately after the dog has an accident in it. Do not leave it in your car while at work in the direct heat. It doesn't smell good when you get back in the car.

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The people at work are mean and make fun of me because I want a Subaru WRX. I think a) they are idiots and don't know what they are talking about when it comes to cars and b) they are all men. The car I want is awesome.

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Do you believe in life after love? I can feel something inside me say I really don't think you're strong enough...NO! But I know that I'll get through this cause I know that I am strong. ~ (thank you Cher)

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So a friend of mine, who we call Cali for apparent reasons, went back to where she's from (yeah she's from California captain obvious!) and while she was there she got a new tattoo. I have never seen one like this before and its truly awesome. Its on the inside of her pointer finger and says "SHH". Totally awesome. I wish I had the balls to do something like that. I have a few tats but none that bad ass.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

I'm not sure what to call this because its really not that interesting but thought I would put it out there...

Yeah so Sunday me and Hubs were walking through Wal-mart looking for a new thermostat. Being geniuses that the Wal-mart layout people are, they put the scales right on the same isle.

How convenient.

I thought to myself "I haven't weighed in a while so I might step on one." Oh that was just the wrong, wrong move. Hubs follows me and watches. I tried to convince myself that I hadn't gained weight(I knew I had) and that my clothes still fit the same(which they really do) but I knew that he would laugh at me and make fun of me because of the number. The number popped up and I was a little surprised by that number that I have never seen IN MY LIFE! But, I was OK with it and I quickly stepped off and made a mental note to work a little harder at the gym in the weeks to come just to tone up a little.

Well apparently my sweet, precious, loving, caring, non-judgemental husband thinks this number is quite funny and informs me that I am catching up to him.

So starting Monday I am going to torture myself with that program called P90X. I don't know if you (who don't read my blog) have ever heard of this or seen the infomercial for this but its pretty much going to kick my @$$! But at least that number will drop and my thighs will be slimmer and arms toned and abs in full effect hopefully by Halloween so that I can wear that really slutty costume.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

RTT: Bordeom will provoke many strange thoughts

The front doors of the bank are glass (NOT mirrors), so we can SEE you!

A handle on a door means pull, a bar means push. I thought that every one knew this.


Last night I was in the nursery at church with 9 kids under 3 years old. The question of "When are you going to have kids?" has just been answered. (And yes, we all have ears, but no, crayons do not go in them.)

I cant wait for my birthday, August 31st! I am seriously considering going sky diving.



Hopefully I wont die and the professional I am jumping with wont mind the warm, wet sensation on the way to the down.
I never realized, until just a few minutes ago, how much I am dependent on my phone. It just died and I have already tried to check my text messages twice. I know the bill collectors are pissed because now they cant get through. I should really answer one day or maybe I will just change my voice mail to let them know that I am not Angela Henderson. Ever since I got my phone number changed about a year ago all sorts of people have called me wanting to speak with Angela Henderson. Seriously, I am not her satellite radio, water commission, bank, and any other person wanting to know if the Bull Pen (???) is still open.
Happy Tuesday






Friday, July 31, 2009

Whore by association

Did you know this was possible? To be a whore but only by association?? Well apparently this is what I am according to Hubs.



See he says that my friends are whores (which they are not, they don't prostitute or sleep around). Yes, they do go out quite often and do hang out or occasionally go on a date with different guys but they are single and can do that! Yes, if I did these things then I guess you could consider me a whore since I am not single. But I don't do this! In fact I have never even "been with" anyone other than Hubs or even been on a date with another guy. I have never even given or taken (OK there was that one time that my mom wrote down this guys phone number for me, but that doesn't count) a phone number!

Anyways, Hubs says that since they are "whores" and I hang out with them I am thus considered to be a whore. I think that this philosophy is very wrong! I think that he is confusing me with himself! Because he is a man whore.

Ahh radio, how I have missed thee

About 8 months ago I was an idiot and left the gas cap off after getting gas late one night. I figured this out after about a month of freaking out because my check engine light was on and I didnt know why. Well, the Hubs bought me a new gas cap and I though it would be fine. But that annoying little orange light was still on!

(I hate those lights and I buckle and take off the emergency brake solely to make those lights go off)

The only way I knew how to make it go off was to disconnect and reconnect the battery. So I did that and the light did go off(!) but it also reset the radio! I thought that I could just turn it back on but noooooo, I needed some 5 digit code!(stupid Japanese import security crap) I looked all through my owner's manuel and could not find it so I asked the Hubs about it and he said that I would have to take the radio out to get some serial number then call the Honda place to get the code.

Well I thought "ok I can handle that, a few screws, pop out the radio, good to go". WRONG! There are like twenty bolts and I could only locate two and Hubs, no matter how many times I asked him, just never took the time to help me.

So yesterday, after months and months of singing to myself and listening to my MP3 player and driving in dead silence, I decided to heed the advice of my co-worker and call the Honda dealer just to see if they could help. And lo and be hold I am now listening to the wonderful local radio stations and my favorite band - Flyleaf.

And I didnt even have to spread my legs :)

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

RTT: Hopefully I linked this right

I really want to go on vacation. Very. Badly. I haven't been on a real vacation in probably 2 and a half years. I have taken days off work here and there and done a few weekend trips to not-so-far-away places but I want a real vacation. One where there is a beach or a mountain and lots of stuff to do for a whole week!

All of my friends are moving away! My best friend from high school moved to Connecticut last year, another friend moved to New Jersey a month or so ago and now my best friend since middle school is going to Tennessee in about a month! What is going on?? I am going to be basically all alone. I now have two friends left. I mean I want them to have a good life and do the things that make them happy but good Lord could you not do those things here? And with me?

Oh and by the way I don't make friends very easily. For some reason the female population doesn't take to me too well. I guess I get along better with guys (although this does cause trouble with the husband so I try not to make guy friends) and chicks seem to not like me because of that. Not to mention my trust issues. I keep friends at a distance for a while before I feel like I can trust them and some girls just cant put up with that, I guess. And its not easy to make friends that are single because I am married and have to act like I am. On the other hand all the married ladies don't usually end up as friends because they like to hang out as couples and that's just not how my husband and I work. So good friends are hard to find for me...

I have a bad habit of saying "just kidding" after joking with someone. I know they know I am playing around but for some reason I feel the need to keep saying it. Maybe I say it because I have such a need to please people that I have to make sure they know I am not serious. The most annoying part to me is that most everything I say I'm "just kidding" about so I say this A. LOT. Oh well...

Happy Tuesday!

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Why Men Are Never Depressed (and subsequently why women are)

Men Are Just Happier People--
What do you expect from such simple creatures?

-Your last name stays put.
-The garage is all yours.
-Wedding plans take care of themselves.
-Chocolate is just another snack.
-You can be President.
-You can never be pregnant.
-You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
-Car mechanics tell you the truth.
-The world is your urinal.
-You never have to drive to another gas station restroom because this one is just too icky.
-You only bleed when cut.
-You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt (righty tighty, lefty loosey).
-Same work, more pay.
-Wrinkles add character.
-Wedding dress $5000. Tux rental-$100.
-People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them.
-New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
-Large feet are attractive.
-One mood all the time (for most men excluding my husband).
-Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
-A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
-You can open all your own jars.
-You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
-If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.
-Your underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
-Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
-You almost never have strap problems in public (although you do adjust and scratch other things in public and no one says anything).
-You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes.
-Everything on your face stays its original color.
-The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades (except for your mullet!).
-Salt and pepper colored hair is sexy and distinguished.
-You only have to shave your face and neck (again unless you are my husband and hate any kind of hair altogether) .
-You can play with toys all your life.
-One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one color for all seasons and life, usually.
-You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look.
-You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife.
-You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache (but please choose not to, that's just my opinion).
-You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.


No wonder men are happier...

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Randomness of Tuesday

~Is it possible to call a radio station and request them to NOT play a certain song *cough mileycirustheclimb cough*?
I am hardly musically trained or educated but I am also not tone deaf and I can totally hear when someone just can not sing. And I especially hate it when someone that can not sing gets paid millions and millions of dollars to do it! WOW guess its all about who you know and how you put yourself out there.

~Fat people truly disgust me. Now, you on the couch with a bag of chips, don't go getting all offended (even though no one reads my blog I can pretend)because I am not talking about a little over weight or pudgy in some areas, no I mean obese. Especially when the obese person doesn't do anything about their obvious problem instead they flaunt it. If you are still offended maybe you should go get checked out by a doctor, they will let you know if you have a weight problem.

~On that same note, I would love to be a personal trainer. I like to work out and I think everyone would too if given the right instruction and training and motivation. Motivation being key.
Now I am no where near in great physical shape and I have trouble with endurance but these things aren't necessary to look healthy and fell good. That's where I think people start to get discouraged. They go to the gym and see all these meat head body builders or distance runners and suddenly see their goal of being able to run for five minutes as stupid or out of reach. Then they get paired with a trainer that is also in amazing shape and doesn't know how to work a larger or out of shape person or get them motivated. So the person never makes it back to the gym thinking that they can manage at home and the downward spiral keeps on going.
I would love to help these people! If only I had the time, resources, money to get started.

~My dog is ruining my apartment. Period. He is making me lose $300. And I'm pretty pissed about that.

Well that's really all I've got so Happy Tuesday!




Monday, July 20, 2009

Oh soooo confused...

So here is the most recent conversation that went on between me and Hubs at about 10 am via text messages:

Hubs: Lets have a baby!

Me: What? Well ok but how would that work out?

Hubs: What do you mean?

Me: Um that is just not what i ever expected u to say! I mean how would it work with [Crazy] and [the baby]

Hubs: I will still see [the baby]

Me: Ok um i want to have a baby with u i really do i just want our relationship to b good too

Hubs: Is that a no

Me: No thats not a no at all! Thats a yea i want to but i dont want to b a single mom

Hubs: Ok!

Me: Ok what does that mean???

Hubs: [NO RESPONSE ARE YOU KIDDING ME HERE?]

*Wait, what just happened?? I am sooooo confused about the whole conversation, it blows my mind! Was he kidding or was he serious or was he delirious or going crazy or was he just thinking about his daughter and how much he loves her and how much better it would be if I were the mother of his child??? (I am hoping the latter of the options) And what does the "Ok!" mean? Does that mean Ok we will have a child and he wont leave me or does that mean Ok since you say that never mind about the whole baby thing? Ugh I am beyond confused. Why cant you read emotions on text messages!!?!?!

Friday, July 17, 2009

I would like some free smell please

So I love Liquid Highway. If you have never been there or don't have one where you live you are seriously missing out.
It's a sort of Starbucks-ish place except they are non-profit and give what they do make to a food bank.
I love their smell the most. For the past two days I have been working right beside one of these blessed stores and I get to smell them all day, for free! So the best things in life are free it turns out, as long as you get excited about and love the simple things in life.


I haven't posted all this week and I know all of my ZERO followers are just bummed. So here's an excuse why: I have been busy! Yes finally, I have some what of a life. The whole week I have, of course, worked (at three different places no less) but I have also been getting ready for a church convention in which I am singing. I sang last night and will sing again tonight and Saturday. So practice and performances have ruled the evenings this week which leaves little time to blog and/or think of anything of remote interest.

Monday, July 13, 2009

UGH I think I need to vent!

So my husband (Hubs), that I lived apart from for a little over a year, has been staying with me for the past few weeks. Things have been going ok for the most part (other than him not coming home until very late some of the time and him being very messy). We do have to keep it under wraps for right now (which I don't agree with) because the mother (who I will now refer to as Crazy) of his daughter would seriously try to kill me and possibly not let my husband see his daughter. I have tried to get past it for the moment to keep the peace and so that we can work on our relationship which seems to be working a little at a time. But I am just getting so frustrated! And I think that he is as well.

I mean he is letting this stupid chick runs his life and, in turn, mine too! Crazy is basically holding his daughter over his head as some sort of bargaining pawn. If she even thinks that I am in close proximity to him she limits the time or place he can see his daughter. I have yet to meet the most important thing is his life because of her immaturity. She knows that he wants nothing to do with her as far as a relationship goes. She had her chance with him and she blew it. I am pretty sure that if she wasn't the bi%^& that she is we would be divorced and he would be with her now even if it were just for the child's sake. So why can Crazy just not let him go and move on from her?

I truly love my husband and honestly I just want him to be happy. If that isn't with me then I would want him to leave and move on and find someone that did make him happy. Why can she not be the same way?

Doesn't the saying go "If you love some one set them free and if they come back you know its meant to be" (or something to that effect)? Well I have done that and he has come back so its apparent to me that we are supposed to be together. Why does she have to get in the way of that?

And what makes it worse is his parents. They have seemed to turn against me all of the sudden. Ever since the baby was born they have totally cut me from their lives. They have even told some people that I am his ex. His mom has almost befriended Crazy too. She has taken her to dinner and had her and the baby over for Sunday lunch. Where was Hubs when all this was going on? With me. He has even told them not to talk to her.

Its almost like they want what has worked for them to work for Hubs as well.
See Hubs' mom got pregnant by his dad before they got married and they are still together almost 30 years later. But that is very rare and doesn't work for everyone. I am pretty sure it wont work for them because for one he cant stand to be around her and for two ME.

We are still married and aren't even legally separated. Not to mention we have no money for divorce. Even if I had the money I would be more likely to help him fight for custody of the baby than pay for a divorce.

Friday, July 10, 2009

Friday Funnies

Got this story in an email and it has to be shared! Its totally something that would happen to me but it hasn't exactly yet...


The Washcloth:

I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later in the week.
Early one morning, I received a call from the doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45 am. The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't have any time to spare.
As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I wasn't going to be able to make the full effort. So, I rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave myself a quick wash in that area to make sure I was at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car and raced to my appointment.

I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I'm sure you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the other side of the room and pretended that I was in Paris or some other place a million miles away.

I was a little surprised when the doctor said, "My, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven't we?"
I didn't respond. After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and went home.
The rest of the day was normal...some shopping, cleaning, cooking.

After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing, she called out from the bathroom, "Mommy, where's my washcloth?" I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She replied, "No, I need the one that was here by the sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside it."

NEVER going back to that doctor ever!!


Happy Friday!

Thursday, July 9, 2009

What I Really Do At Work

So Miss B (best friend) and I were emailing back and forth today and got on the subject of what she wants in a guy. See she is newly divorced from my cousin (yeah I know that's strange) and has been talking with some different guys and just cant seem to find what she is looking for. She has talked to some really creepy guys and some ok guys just not ready for a relationship, tall guys and too- short- for- her- guys, high school sweet hearts and men old enough to be her dad... the list goes on. So I made her her "perfect guy" list of must haves:

Tall
Military
Bad Ass (not to be confused with an assh***)
Romantic
Secure
Hot
Nice Body
Not Married
Preferably a Dad
Older
Protector


then I thought of some more:

(insert eye color) - Green/blue
(insert hair color) - anything but red
Caucasian
Nice Dresser
Not Gay (or Metro)
Nice Car
Good Job
Established
No Crazy Family


I am sure the list could go on for days but basically the point was to show her how picky she is being! I mean really, I don't mind some higher standards but having a height requirement (at least 6') is a little excessive! So after the list I told her that we could just lump all of this together in to a phrase-- Perfectly Impossible. She agreed but is still hopeful LOL!

Then I got to emailing another work friend of mine (we can call her Berger) about a "fight" she had. She is newly married, less than a year, and they are trying to have a bebe. Every time they do the deed they put a quarter into a jar to keep track and to save some money. Well the roll of quarters Berger had purchased for this sole purpose was empty and she knew they hadn't had sex 40 times already! So of course the culprit was her hubby and he bought a candy bar with the change and couldn't understand why she was so upset about some quarters! So she told him that she had written "sex" on every quarter trying to make him feel bad which didn't work because he is a typical man. Well that was it! That was the end of their so called fight! I mean where was all the yelling and slamming doors and kicking walls (yes, I have done both and more)?? So I told her that they really needed to have a knock down drag out fight about something pointless so that they can have really good make up sex. I think that may be the best way to conceive. Screw all the fertility drugs she's on (Clomid shlomid) and all the endometreosis surgeries she's had just get into a good quality quarrel. Maybe the stress will make the sperm swim faster.


Yeah basically I have meaningless conversations with friends on work time but that's what gets the job done, I promise!

Happy Thursday

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts

I used to feel like I fit in with the hubby's family. They liked me and I was always went to the family functions and get togethers. But for the past 4 months or so (basically ever since the baby as born) I have been the total outcast. Its almost like they think that my husband should be with the child's mother! This totally blows me away because I have done nothing but be there for my husband and for his family too. His mother has even befriended the baby mama. I mean really they are sort of alike in their moodiness but his mother has way more class than that (more on this later since this is supposed to be random).

Any who, that just makes me love my family even more!

Took the puppy Drake on his first official outing yesterday to my Dad's softball game. It wasn't a total disaster but he pretty much hates the leash.

I guess I would hate something around my neck pulling me too...

Fat people who realized they are overweight are fine with me. But fat people that know that they are fat and make every joke possible about them selves are just plain annoying. Making fun of yourself is just sad to me.

For some odd reason I really want to be in a wedding or at least go to one soon. Wish my brother and his girlfriend would go ahead and just get married already.

So guess that's it. Happy Tuesday!!

Monday, July 6, 2009

AHHH weekends!

Ya know here lately it seems that instead of resting up on the weekends from working all week I have been resting on the weekdays to gear up for the weekends! Which, in my book, is just fine.

This weekend to celebrate our country's Independence me and Miss B went to Six Flags Over Georgia! We had an absolute blast and probably spent too much money, but it was well worth it. That is until this morning when I had cramps in my calves. I promise we walked 4 miles, no joke. And can I just say that if you go to a theme park like this splurge on the flash/fast pass thing so you don't have to wait in god awful lines all day. It is totally worth the money to get to ride the newest best roller coaster there six times! We wanted to stay until the big fireworks show but getting up at 4:45 am (yeah I know that's wayyyy early) paired with the heat and walking all day just didn't allow my body to function past 8 pm, so we left and just watched fireworks on the way back home while trying not to nod off.

Needless to say Sunday was just as the good Lord intended it, a day of rest. I didn't even make it to church (sorry God) and didn't get out of bed until 11 and that was just because I was hungry!

Hope the 4th was great for everyone!

Happy Monday

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts

If you saw me in the back of a police car what would you think that I got arrested for??

I work at a bank and some creeper at the drive through just asked me if my phone number came with his cash back. Uh, NO sorry.


What are women thinking when they wake up in the morning and decide to wear floral printed culottes??


What are men thinking when they wake up and decide to wear short shorts with socks and sandals?


What was my dog thinking when he decided to pee right beside my bed this morning so that when I get out of bed I step directly into it? I think that he had a plot set out against me because I made him stay in the kennel all day yesterday. Sneaky bastard.


I wonder how many emails Microsoft Outlook can hold. I get way too many emails a day and I fear that it will fill up before I take the initiative to delete some of them.


Happy Tuesday

Monday, June 29, 2009

Antoher fun summer weekend!

This weekend was a total blast. I am now very tired from all of the excitement but its totally worth it!





Friday: Being the great friend I am I sacrificed my Friday night to help Miss B get out of a date that she didn't want to go on. I wasn't too upset about it though because I had no plans and we went and saw Transformers 2 and it was awesome! There was a lot of action which was pretty cool even though it was between the robots and all you saw was metal flying and the story line was actually pretty decent too. Of course Megan Fox is hot and Shia LeBeouf isn't bad himself but the real looker to me was Josh Duhamel! Heart him!



Saturday: I had to work, which sucked, but it was Miss B's birthday so the celebration was on in full force starting with dinner. We went to this fancy schmansy restaurant called The Peppermill. Miss B had won a five course dinner with wine for four people to this place and it was amazing! Every course had a different wine to compliment it and all of them were petty good. I am not a big wine drinker but apparently these people know what they are doing. After racking up a $380 bill (luckily what ever Miss B won was all inclusive so we didn't have to pay anything but the tip) we went to my apartment to change then it was off to meet some more friends for another crazy night at the Blind Horse! We drank a little danced a lot and just had a good time in general until 2:30 when they closed.

Sunday: After getting all of about 3 hours of sleep I got up and went to church and then to lunch with the family and then spent the rest of the day with the new puppy and the hubby.

All in all it was a great weekend cant wait until the next one!

Happy Monday

Friday, June 26, 2009

Friday Funnies

This comes from an email I recieved at work so who knows who the original author was, but it's still hilarious! Enjoy and Happy Friday!



My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we’re in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window. People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked.

There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.

Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you’d been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:
"Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?"

At this point, I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity.

Cade continued, "Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh ... Mommy! I'm trying to see in dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat i s a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!"

I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming newborn when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting.

Trying to divert him, I said, "Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy. We'll both have some!"
"No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!" He started to gag at this point.
"Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!”

As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can bereasonably assured that those who over heard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.

"Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up!" He grunted as he tried to pull me off.

Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door. "Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?"

More laughter.

I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation. "Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy." He started pounding on the door. "Mommy, don't you want to wash yourhands? I want to go out!!"

I saw that my "wait 'em out" plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to thirtyladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud. My first thought was complete embarrassment, then I thought, "Where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my dignity and privacy?"

But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow

Thursday, June 25, 2009

UGH!

Ya know what I hate?!?! When people are reading a book, blog, comment on Facebook, etc. and just burst into spontaneous laughter and you ask them "What is so funny?" and they say "Oh its nothing". Ten minutes later they send you a link to what they were reading so you expect something just hilarious. After you spend seven minutes reading a stupid post on a website you realize that you just wasted your precious time and didn't even laugh out loud or otherwise.

I also hate the dinging noise your car makes if you leave the door open.


Happy freaking Thursdayday.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The newest addition

Drake


So this is what the hubby brought home last night! I guess to ease the pain of losing Hunter just a few days ago. Technically he isnt supposed to live with me in the apartment but he did last night and had to stay there all alone today while we were at work! Yeah I know it was totally not a good idea to leave a 9 week old puppy by himself and basically free to roam and pee and poo and chew and lick as he pleased but as it turned out he did ok. I went home on my lunch break and the place was clean and nothing was messed up or on! That is until I left and the hubby came to check on him about 5 minutes later. He pooed in the floor but at least it wasnt worse. Sadly he will probably be leaving to live at my in-laws until I can gather the $300 to keep him with me. So donations are welcome!
Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

What a Weekend

This weekend was pretty boring and sad. Friday all I did was watch my dad's softball team play and lose.

Saturday wasnt much better although I didnt have to work. I did go to a friend's house and watch Friday the 13th but while watching it the hubby called to let me know that our doggie son had died. Hunter had been staying in a pretty big kennel outsid at my in-laws house and all we can think is that the heat we have been having was just too much for him. I loved that pup a lot but my husband was very attached and very upset. Hunter had a proper burial right beside the dirt bike jump that my husband made when he was younger and was put to rest with some of his favorite toys, a whistle and a duck bumper. He will be missed. Hopefully the movie is right and All Dogs Go to Heaven.

Sunday I went to church and went to lunch with my Dad for Father's Day and then I went home and that was that.

Hope your weekend was more entertaining...



Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Highlights of my day so far...

Since its the middle of the week no one seems to want to do any banking (except for the few old people that come every day) and this makes for a very boring day! But it just got livened up!

~So I am sitting at my desk and reading updates to other people's blogs and my phone is ringing... This seems normal because bill collectors seem to call around this time of day to catch me at lunch or something I guess. When I looked to see who it was I was surprised because it was a friend of mine (we will call her MissB) that works for the same bank! I knew she was at work, we were just emailing a few minutes ago. So I got freaked out and thought of only the worst, (you see this chick gets into a lot of wrecks it seems and they almost always happen on her lunch break) that maybe she was in a crash and was hurt or needed a ride or something horrible. I couldn't answer the phone right away and she left a message! This freaked me out more so I texted her and emailed her to see if she was OK and I got no response! So I ran to the back break room to check my messages and I had the best laugh ever! It was MissB rapping with Eminem to 'Mocking Bird". Wow I now get the the whole butt dialing commercial!

~One of the previously mentioned old people that comes in every day came in today and had an awesome story to share. The sweet little lady used to live in Florida, until about 6 months ago, and the weather there is very different from weather here and they just don't have tornadoes. Well we do and last night the weather was really bad here. So she comes in and starts to talk to me about what happened...Her husband had said that if you heard a noise that sounded like a train coming toward you that it was probably a tornado and the safest place for them was in the creek bed behind their house. Last night they heard the 'train noise' and headed down to the creek and ducked down. A few minutes later the lady looked up, smacked her husband and said "You idiot there really is a train, it's not a tornado!" Gotta love the old people!


Happy Wednesday...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Weekend Flashback

So this weekend was awesome!

Friday: I didn't do much it was a total relaxing night for me which was perfect.

Saturday: I did have to work from 8:30 to 12 but after that it was on! I went home did some laundry and tanned by the pool for a few hours then got ready to go out with the girls! This is when the madness ensues! My friend (we will call her blon-D) came and we totally trashed the bathroom of my apartment with makeup and straighteners and curling irons and clothes... After we were well groomed and looking cute we met another friend (we will call her Cali) at a restaurant/sports bar to watch the UFC fight outside. Then it started to rain so we went to the next stop, a country bar/line dancing spot/fav local hangout. We went in and straight to the bar. We each bought an Alabama Slammer (don't ask what's in it, I have no clue) and finished watching the fights there. This was the best idea ever because the TVs were at the bar and we probably got at least 4 more drinks each bought for us by guys that we had no intention of really talking to. Some wobbly line dancing went on even though we didn't know the dances and some more dancing of other kinds. We had many "deep convos" to avoid dancing with guys on the slow songs or dancing with them in general.

Sunday(or Saturday night, whichever): We decided to leave the bar about 2 a.m. to go to the Waffle House. If you don't have one of these where you live you are missing out and its basically like a 24/7 trashy diner. But upon reaching the parking lot of the bar we discovered a horse trailer with several horses in it just sitting there so of course we had to pet the beautiful animals. Cali grabbed her video camera out of her truck and we proceeded to pet the horseies! Some other people approached to pet them too and I then let everyone know that we should let them out so they wont be made into glue. Yes, horses are made into some types of glue. It's very sad and very true... We finally made it to the Waffle House video camera in tow. We stole a sign from there and threw it into the back of Cali's truck. We aren't very good thieves because blon-D got the ink all over her arm. Just before walking in an older, very redneck couple was walking out so Cali asked them what was their favorite southern tradition and they said mooning! Glad we avoided the showing of said southern tradition. After ordering our food guess who shows up?? A very drunk drink buyer from the bar! So awkward because we totally avoided him after we got our free drinks! I arrived home at about 3, got into bed about 3:45 and got up that morning at 7 for church! Luckily I had time to take a nap later that afternoon.

Sunday night: Me and blon-D watched "The Women" and chilled for a while. That was about it!


Hope your weekend was awesome! Happy Tuesday

Saturday, June 13, 2009

My Pop

Back in March my grandpa, who we called Pop, passed away. The day before he passed away my husband's daughter was born (read more about that here: http://lifesmixedbag.blogspot.com/2009/05/little-history.html) so I never really took the time to think about him and how much he meant to me until just recently. As I was remembering him I remembered a great time that we had together when I was about 7 or 8.

It was the summer and Pop wanted to take me, my brother, and my cousin fishing. Well I had never been fishing of course, I was pretty young, and I did not know what all this entailed so I was very excited about it. That morning my mom dropped my brother and I off at Pop's house and little did she know that we all piled in the bed of my grandpa's truck! How fun for us but the moms would have had a heart attack had she known. On the way we stopped by the local store to get some snacks (remember sixlets?! Those were great!) and bait. At this point I had just realized that 'bait' was live crickets and worms! EWWW! I didn't really know what the 'bait' was for so little did I know that I would have to touch them if I wanted to catch anything. We made it to the lake in one piece and got the fishing poles and bait out, went to the edge of the lake and the boys all started putting hooks on the string and bait on the hooks. This was when I realized that I would have to touch the living, crawling, jumping, slithering, gross bugs! I tried to play it cool, acted like it didn't bother me. I didn't want to be thought of as uncool! So I thought I would start off with the cricket first and reached into the little box they were in and immediately I jerked my hand out and when I did oh it was BAD! This sent the entire box flying and it spilled on the ground. SO that sent me jumping and pllloooop right in to the water! It was shallow, luckily, so I hoped out as fast as I went in. But the boys and my Pop were already in hysterics. I started crying... still soaking wet my Pop came over, wrapped a big towel around me and baited my line for me the rest of the day! What a great grandpa (and man in general) he was!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Friday Funnies!!

This comes from an actual co-worker of mine who moved to good ole SC about 5 years ago and they are so true and funny:

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED BY MOVING
TO THE SOUTH


1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live here .

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live here.

4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words

6. It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.

7. 'Jaw-P?' means, 'Did y'all go to the bathroom?

8. People actually grow and eat okra.

9. 'Fixinto' is one word.

10. There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then there is supper.

11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two.. We do like a little tea with our sugar.

12. Backwards and forwards means, 'I know everything about you'.

13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning, 'Did you eat?'

14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is.
You work until you're done or it's too dark to see..

15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.

16. You measure distance in minutes.

17. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

18. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

19. You know what a 'DAWG' is.

20. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.

21. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and Ketchup.

22. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football.

23. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

24. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm.'

25. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

26. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World.'

27. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good hog killin' weather.

28. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

29. You call a hose a 'hose pipe'.

30. You put an 's' on the end of every word (i.e. checkings, KMarts)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

I'm no pro!

So yesterday was my husband's birthday! We didn't do too much to celebrate since it wasn't one of those big birthday numbers and because we are very broke, but I did make him a cake. When I told him I was doing this he was a little skeptical (OK a lot skeptical) but he appreciated the thought. I have a tendency to slightly over cook things, he calls it burnt but I like to say well done or Cajun! Anyways on Tuesday night I decided to bake a strawberry cake from a recipe that my mom had made once before. I had all the ingredients and tools needed and the recipe seemed pretty easy. So I got through the mixing and baking with no problems at all! I didn't even over bake anything! YAY! Then it was time for the frosting and although I had to use some unconventional ways (i.e. my fingers) to smooth it all out it looked fabulous!

Well last night we cut it and had a piece and let me just say that my husband actually said that he now believed that I could cook! It was pretty tasty even though I am not the biggest fan of strawberries. So now there is a huge chunk gone and that makes me very happy. This may just start a new love of baking for me. :)

Happy Thursday.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

A few open letters

Dear PBS,

I would like to thank you for putting one great and wonderful show on your station. Antiques Roadshow is the best. You all should definitely fill all of your time slots with this one show! I am not a fan of any other shows on your station but you have a winner with this one. The show is great but the fact that you wait until the very end for a very few commercials is fantastic! Keep Antiques Roadshow on forever!

Sincerely,
Addicted




Dear Honda,

I am sending much appreciation to you for the cars that you make. In particular the Accord and more specifically the burgundy '02 that I drive daily. After all the hell I have put that car through and all the oil changes that I have missed and roads that I speed down I am surprised it is still running! Even my wreck a few weeks back has not slowed big red down, she is still moving along the highways with the best of 'em. I have owned many Honda's in the past 5 years and none have let me down. One of them even won a trophy in an Atlanta car show 4 years ago. Hopefully when I decide to get a new car it will be a Honda!

A big thank you,
Dedicated



Dear Mom and Dad,

Although you don't read this blog and probably don't even know what a blog is I still will write you a thank you note because all of the people that may read this need to know that y'all are awesome. I may not have always realized it but now I see how much you have done and still continue to do for my brother and I. One of the biggest things that you have done for me is raise me in a Christian home. No matter how many times I hated the punishments you gave me I knew that God loved me so much that he sent his son, Jesus, to die for me and save me from my sins. You both have shown me what a great marriage is supposed to be, and how things just seem to work out when we put our faith in God. You also raised me to be independent. You don't meddle in my life like I see happening to some friends, neither do you leave me high and dry when I need a little help (like right now). You have been there to support me even when you don't totally agree with my decisions (like getting married at 18 and then staying with someone I love despite the affair and child), but you give advice and let me work it out. I love you both and am blessed more than I deserve to have you.

With lots of love,
Your favorite (and only) daughter



That's all for now! Happy Tuesday :)









Friday, June 5, 2009

Friday Funnies

Enjoy!!!


The Lie Detector


John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.
One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.
It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late..
"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?"asked John.
"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,"said Tommy.
The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school."
"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy.
"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.
"The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair.
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."
"I am ashamed of you son," said John.. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents."
The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.
Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"

The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a lot of free trips around the sun!

Since I am running out of topics for blogging I thought I would do something different. This would be something I would find interesting on someone else's blog so here we go---My favorite quotes! Most of these I am unsure of the source but I am sure they were from someone great!

Excuses are the tools of the incompetent.


Its easy to accept a persons faults if you don't see them every day.


The urge to run is the instinctive response of anyone suddenly faced with danger or disaster


Do not walk behind me for I may not lead. Do not walk in front of me for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me. Pretty much just leave me alone!


Experience comes just after you really need it.


There are risks and costs to action but they are far less than the long range risks of comfortable in action.


The journey of a thousand miles starts with an empty gas tank.


Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.


Don't take life too seriously, you wont make it out alive anyways.


A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.


Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until they speak.


I use sarcasm because its easier to deal with stupid people that way!



Happy Thursday!




Saturday, May 30, 2009

Saturday Snickers

Since I didnt get to post Friday Funnies yesterday I will do it now! These are great and although we all may not feel like this all the time some of us feel like this some of the time! Enjoy! Happy weekend...


Subject: Matrimony

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, Or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearingYourWedding ring on the wrong finger?' 'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man. '

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: 'Husband Wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine. '

WHEN A WOMEN STEALS YOUR HUSBAND, THERE IS NO BETTER REVENGE THAN TO LET HER KEEP HIM.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .

A little boy asked his father,'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married? 'Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying. '

A young son asked, 'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?' Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son. '

Then there was a woman who said,'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, It was too late. '

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel! 'Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive. '

AND NOW FOR MY FAVORITE!!!
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy. The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut up.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

It's all good

Even though I have no money the bills will continue to come so I figure why worry? It will all work out because there are higher powers that govern how my life goes. Even though I have serious marital problems I am still married and I still care about my husband so why put un-needed stress on my self? I could complain but that wont change things. God is the higher power that will take care of me. Now I am not saying that I or anyone else should sit back and do nothing while the bills pile up or argue with the spouse for no reason but I am saying "let go and let God". Do the most you can with what you have then leave the rest up to the big guy. Sometimes life will throw you a curve ball, in my case a full 9 innings of them, but I have learned so much... learned how to hit those curve balls out of the park and run those bases! Our trials are what makes us who we are. They make us stronger, wiser, and more beautiful inside and out. I don't believe that God will let us go through something that we cant handle, we are his children. But sometimes He may take us through things that break us down and get us a little dirty but if we let Him do things His way He will pick us up, bring us closer to him and brush us off! I am still waiting for that part and I know that when it happens my life will be blessed because I blessed God. So my motto is: It's all good!

Happy Thursday!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A long weekend full of emotions

Friday night I didnt do too much, just went and ate with the family and relaxed at home while holding down the couch! Saturday, however, was a totally differnet story. I had to be at work at 8:30 and at 12:30 I met my husband to go to the lake with some friends. We all had a great time riding the jet ski and the boat, laying out in the sun, eating and throwing back a few cold ones! :) We got back in town about 10 and ended up ordering pizza and watching the greatest show on HBO ever called East Bound and Down. So I didnt get into bed until pretty late but it was toatlly worth it! Sunday I got up extra early to go to church then went and ate with my family for lunch and did laundry. It seems that this Sunday's activities are becoming pretty routine and I actually sort of enjoy it.

Monday brought on the water works for me. I knew what was coming but I didnt expect it to be so hard.... The house that my husband and I owned has been in foreclosure and in about 2 more days he and all of our stuff has to be out or we lose it. I thought that when this happened he would finally move in with me and things would be better. But apparently he isnt ready for that and he seems to think that if he lives with me he wont be able to see his daughter anymore. I dont understand his thinking at all but I was willing to let him take some more time to work things out. So the plan was for him to bring me all of the stuff that we consider to be mine. Well on Monday morning my husband and his dad were there with all of my stuff and it seemed like everything just came to a head and came out in the form of tears. Once all of the stuff was inside and they were about to leave all I could do was stand there and cry. To me all of that stuff reminded me that my husband wasnt going to be living with me and it would be a while before he would. It also made me think how easy it would be now for him to just call it quits. I mean I had my stuff and he had his and technically we wouldnt ever have to see each other again. I am usually so strong and dont show a lot of emotion but it just all came out. My husband tried to console me but he just doesnt understand how I feel and when I tell him I feel very selfish. I guess I just need to learn to have more patience. I thought that waiting two years was being patient enough but God doesnt always follow our little time tables. After I got through my emotional break down I started to upack the boxes and arrange the furniture. I now have a table to eat at and pictures for my walls and candles. Then I went to eat with my family for Memorial Day (man we sure do seem to eat a lot!!!). So all in all I guess the long weekend did turn out to be pretty decent. Hope every one had a good one too!!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Friday Funnies

The spoon:
A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'
'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.
If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'
'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.
By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%. I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'


'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'

Thursday, May 21, 2009

blog, blog, blog... what shall we blog?

sooo glad its warm weather
sooo not glad about all the rain we've been having

happy it's almost the weekend
bummed that I have to work on Saturday

excited about what is in store for my life
scared that I will make lots of mistakes in that life

greatful that I have a job
however I could probably use two jobs

like working for the bank
wish all customers and coworkers had common sense

wish I had financial stability
money cant buy happiness

glad that I have great friends
wish I could spend more time with them

completely in love with my husband
hope that our relationship will be better soon

everything happens for a reason
don't always know the reasons






Tuesday, May 19, 2009

My life update:

I had to go to court today for my ticket that I got from the wreck a few weeks ago... It actually turned out pretty well to my surprise! I got there at 9 this morning and had to wait until 10:30 but the wait was worth it because the ticket was reduced by about $150 and all the points were dropped YAY! So either luck or God was on my side because stuff like that never happens to me!

My husband will probably be moving in with me over the coming weekend (read earlier posts if you dont understand this). This scares me slightly but it will make things a lot easier, financially and as far as our relationship goes, on both of us. I dont quite know how the whole baby thing will workout because the mother of his child hates me with ever fiber of her psycho being. But I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep him and the baby in my life. So I will give another update on how all this turns out in a few weeks...


In other news: Dancing With the Stars finale is tonight! I wont get to watch it but I personally want Melissa to win it all but the other two are good dancers as well... Also American Idol starts their finale tonight and its all over tomorrow. On this I dont really care who wins but I know that Adam will because he is freaking great. I wish I had the time to watch more interesting things but this is really the extent of it. I watch a lot of reruns and a lot of Law and Order, CSI and that sort of thing that really dont have plots that people follow. So thats all for now!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Happy Monday!

Well everyone another weekend has come and gone but dont be saddened by this because next weekend is a long one! Yay for holidays that bring a four day weekend! Although I dont really have plans for the weekend I look forward to doing nothing! As for the past weekend it seemed to be quite busy. Friday my air conditioner just decided to stop working so I have to deal with the ceiling fans and window open until it gets fixed sometime this week. I also went out with the girls to a Japanese steakhouse and it was delicious. The cook we had was very creative and funny and we sang happy birthday to a friend when it really wasnt her birthday! We had a blast but I didnt get to stay out as long as I wanted since I had to be at work Saturday morning by 8! After work the gym was calling my name to come and work out but I totally ignored it and took a little nap. Then a friend of mine, we will call her Anna, and I took her nieces and nephew to Monkey Joe's (which is a inflatable playground deal for the kiddies) and then to Build-a-Bear (which is basically an expensive toy store). That was a very fun and exhausting day for me and an expensive day for my friend! But the kids had fun and we had fun watching them. Sunday was supposed to be a day for relaxing and it would have been perfect with the cool breeze and the rain, but after I went to church and to eat with my parents I had laundry and grocery shopping to do so not much rest was had but I did get into bed a little early. Now its back to work and working out and all that fun stuff. Wish me luck tomorrow because I have to go pay my lovely ticket for the wreck I had the other week. I am praying that they lower it a good bit! FINGERS ARE CROSSED!!

Happy Monday!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Friday Funnies!

Ok I know I have posted a lot of jokes on here lately but as they say laughter is the best medicine! Not to mention that my week has been pretty stressful. I did get my car back yesterday! YAY! But now I am in debt to my parents. Anyways have a laugh...




Cup of Tea. One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up. Then she says, (as only a mother would know...) "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A stressful day means jokes on the blog!

Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Kim wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?' Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did.. She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500.'

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.

Kim told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob's house at 2 p..m. sharp and after paying Kim the agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed.

Jim quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m. And upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?'

With a lump in her throat Kim answered, 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.' Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'And did he give you $500?'

Kim, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.'

Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, 'He came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.'

Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player!