A little history

So I guess that now is as good a time as any to tell you a little bit about my crazy life. My husband and I got married very young (probably a little too young), I was 18 and he was 19, but we loved each other and had been together for 7 years so it just seemed like the next step. So, I will start about two years ago. It was the summer time and things seemed to be going well for my husband and I. We had money to pay the bills and had a few extras in life and we had made it through the first year of marriage without any real problems. Then it seemed that all of hell broke lose...

My husband had just turned 21 while I was still 20 and too young to really go out anywhere. So while he was out I was home doing pretty much nothing. He started going out every night and staying out until all hours of the night. This behavior really did not set well with me at all, especially when I suspected that he had been talking to another woman. The partying also started to effect his job by making him late every morning and making him very tired while he was there. After a several weeks of this I confronted him about it and he told me that he just wasn't happy with me and yeah he had been going out with someone else! I was completely crushed and in shock. I didnt really know what to do so I just tried my best to make him happy with me again. This, however, was totally pointless and didnt work at all and seemed to just drive him away more and more. Maybe a month or two went by and I had gotten so sick of living the way we were so I decided that the best thing was for me to leave. So I pretty much bounced around from my parents' house to a friend's house every night and lived out of my car. I would drive by OUR house and see random cars there knowing that they probably belonged to another female. I even saw him and some girl outside once playing with our dog. I got to be very depressed but I would never ever show it because I wanted to be strong and show him that I didnt need him.
This all went on for about 6 months and he eventually covinced me that he had "changed" and that he wanted me to come back, so I did. But he lied. Things hadnt gotten better at all. In fact they seem to have gotten worse. But I tried to tough it out and tried to tell my self that it was just a phase and that soon he would grow out of it and be happy with me again. Boy, was I wrong!! He became friends with the girls dad and they seemed to have a lot in common. My husband tried to tell me that he was only at the girls house to help her dad work on his race car and hunt and things like that. He would tell me that they were just friends and I wanted so badly to believe him but deep down I knew it was all just a lie. There were nights that he wouldnt even come home because he "fell asleep on their couch" or "stayed with a friend". I was so stupid and vulnerable and young that I made my self believe him. I stayed and lived like that for months and months. Meantime I did turn 21 and I thought that would change things between us and that we could go out together and have fun and get back to where we used to be. This totally blew up in my face because I did start going out just not with my husband. Ironically enough this made him very upset with me!! During this time he had managed to lose his job and I was trying to support both of us on my income, which wasn't working at all. But some days I thought that things were getting better and that maybe he was just friends with this chick. Then I snapped back into reality and realized that I was just trying to believe that so that I wouldn't lose the guy I still loved. My husband wanted me to be around but didnt want to make that commitment. Basicallly he wanted to have his cake and eat it too, as the saying goes.
Eventually after many fights and arguments we both decided that the best thing for our relationship would be for me to move out. He thought that since I wouldn't be sitting at home waiting on him and he wouldn't get to see me everyday that he would work harder to see me and spend time with me. I didn't agree with the reasoning but I did agree that I needed to leave. So in May of last year (2008) I moved in with my parents. It wasn't so bad but after I was used to living on my own I felt like I lost a bit of privacy. But it got me out of a bad situation and my parents are absolutely great and loving and very supportive so I was grateful to have a place to go. For a while things did seem to be a little better between my husband and I and then I got the worst possible news. The girl he had been "friends" with was pregnant. Yeah I was in total shock.
Fast forward until about 6 months ago (Nov. 2008)... Things were pretty good between my husband and I. We still had this looming pregnancy issue but we were working things out. We weren't sure if the child was his or if she was even pregnant at all but I had decided to move on and forgive him either way. I still hadn't started living with him but we were spending more and more time with each other and it seemed like we were dating all over again. Things were far from perfect but getting better. Then about January I decided to get a place of my own because I wanted my husband to move in with me and he would need a place to stay because our house was about to be foreclosed on. Well the baby was born on March 20, 2009 and she is my husbands world. The mother has no place to live right now and is staying with a friend so the baby spends every night and weekend with my husband. He still hasn't moved in with me because of custody issues with his daughter but I know that things will somehow work out eventually. I am sure that things will be hard but God is an awsome support system for me and I am putting my total trust in him with this situation.