Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Random Tuesday Thoughts

If you saw me in the back of a police car what would you think that I got arrested for??

I work at a bank and some creeper at the drive through just asked me if my phone number came with his cash back. Uh, NO sorry.


What are women thinking when they wake up in the morning and decide to wear floral printed culottes??


What are men thinking when they wake up and decide to wear short shorts with socks and sandals?


What was my dog thinking when he decided to pee right beside my bed this morning so that when I get out of bed I step directly into it? I think that he had a plot set out against me because I made him stay in the kennel all day yesterday. Sneaky bastard.


I wonder how many emails Microsoft Outlook can hold. I get way too many emails a day and I fear that it will fill up before I take the initiative to delete some of them.


Happy Tuesday

Monday, June 29, 2009

Antoher fun summer weekend!

This weekend was a total blast. I am now very tired from all of the excitement but its totally worth it!





Friday: Being the great friend I am I sacrificed my Friday night to help Miss B get out of a date that she didn't want to go on. I wasn't too upset about it though because I had no plans and we went and saw Transformers 2 and it was awesome! There was a lot of action which was pretty cool even though it was between the robots and all you saw was metal flying and the story line was actually pretty decent too. Of course Megan Fox is hot and Shia LeBeouf isn't bad himself but the real looker to me was Josh Duhamel! Heart him!



Saturday: I had to work, which sucked, but it was Miss B's birthday so the celebration was on in full force starting with dinner. We went to this fancy schmansy restaurant called The Peppermill. Miss B had won a five course dinner with wine for four people to this place and it was amazing! Every course had a different wine to compliment it and all of them were petty good. I am not a big wine drinker but apparently these people know what they are doing. After racking up a $380 bill (luckily what ever Miss B won was all inclusive so we didn't have to pay anything but the tip) we went to my apartment to change then it was off to meet some more friends for another crazy night at the Blind Horse! We drank a little danced a lot and just had a good time in general until 2:30 when they closed.

Sunday: After getting all of about 3 hours of sleep I got up and went to church and then to lunch with the family and then spent the rest of the day with the new puppy and the hubby.

All in all it was a great weekend cant wait until the next one!

Happy Monday

Friday, June 26, 2009

Friday Funnies

This comes from an email I recieved at work so who knows who the original author was, but it's still hilarious! Enjoy and Happy Friday!



My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we’re in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window. People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old. And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked.

There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.

Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you’d been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall:
"Mommy, are you gonna go potty? Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy? Mommy, what are you doing? Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?"

At this point, I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full ... 4? 5? Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity.

Cade continued, "Mommy, you ARE going stinkies aren't you? Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy! Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty? Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy! Oh ... Mommy! I'm trying to see in dere. Oh! I see dem. Dat i s a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!"

I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming newborn when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting.

Trying to divert him, I said, "Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy. We'll both have some!"
"No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!" He started to gag at this point.
"Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!”

As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can bereasonably assured that those who over heard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.

"Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up!" He grunted as he tried to pull me off.

Now I could hear full-blown laughter. I bent down to count the feet outside my door. "Oh, are you wooking under dere, Mommy? You wooking under da door? What were you wooking at, Mommy? You wooking at the wady's feet?"

More laughter.

I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation. "Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy." He started pounding on the door. "Mommy, don't you want to wash yourhands? I want to go out!!"

I saw that my "wait 'em out" plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to thirtyladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud. My first thought was complete embarrassment, then I thought, "Where's the fine print on the 'motherhood contract' where I signed away every bit of my dignity and privacy?"

But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow

Thursday, June 25, 2009

UGH!

Ya know what I hate?!?! When people are reading a book, blog, comment on Facebook, etc. and just burst into spontaneous laughter and you ask them "What is so funny?" and they say "Oh its nothing". Ten minutes later they send you a link to what they were reading so you expect something just hilarious. After you spend seven minutes reading a stupid post on a website you realize that you just wasted your precious time and didn't even laugh out loud or otherwise.

I also hate the dinging noise your car makes if you leave the door open.


Happy freaking Thursdayday.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The newest addition

Drake


So this is what the hubby brought home last night! I guess to ease the pain of losing Hunter just a few days ago. Technically he isnt supposed to live with me in the apartment but he did last night and had to stay there all alone today while we were at work! Yeah I know it was totally not a good idea to leave a 9 week old puppy by himself and basically free to roam and pee and poo and chew and lick as he pleased but as it turned out he did ok. I went home on my lunch break and the place was clean and nothing was messed up or on! That is until I left and the hubby came to check on him about 5 minutes later. He pooed in the floor but at least it wasnt worse. Sadly he will probably be leaving to live at my in-laws until I can gather the $300 to keep him with me. So donations are welcome!
Happy Wednesday!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

What a Weekend

This weekend was pretty boring and sad. Friday all I did was watch my dad's softball team play and lose.

Saturday wasnt much better although I didnt have to work. I did go to a friend's house and watch Friday the 13th but while watching it the hubby called to let me know that our doggie son had died. Hunter had been staying in a pretty big kennel outsid at my in-laws house and all we can think is that the heat we have been having was just too much for him. I loved that pup a lot but my husband was very attached and very upset. Hunter had a proper burial right beside the dirt bike jump that my husband made when he was younger and was put to rest with some of his favorite toys, a whistle and a duck bumper. He will be missed. Hopefully the movie is right and All Dogs Go to Heaven.

Sunday I went to church and went to lunch with my Dad for Father's Day and then I went home and that was that.

Hope your weekend was more entertaining...



Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Highlights of my day so far...

Since its the middle of the week no one seems to want to do any banking (except for the few old people that come every day) and this makes for a very boring day! But it just got livened up!

~So I am sitting at my desk and reading updates to other people's blogs and my phone is ringing... This seems normal because bill collectors seem to call around this time of day to catch me at lunch or something I guess. When I looked to see who it was I was surprised because it was a friend of mine (we will call her MissB) that works for the same bank! I knew she was at work, we were just emailing a few minutes ago. So I got freaked out and thought of only the worst, (you see this chick gets into a lot of wrecks it seems and they almost always happen on her lunch break) that maybe she was in a crash and was hurt or needed a ride or something horrible. I couldn't answer the phone right away and she left a message! This freaked me out more so I texted her and emailed her to see if she was OK and I got no response! So I ran to the back break room to check my messages and I had the best laugh ever! It was MissB rapping with Eminem to 'Mocking Bird". Wow I now get the the whole butt dialing commercial!

~One of the previously mentioned old people that comes in every day came in today and had an awesome story to share. The sweet little lady used to live in Florida, until about 6 months ago, and the weather there is very different from weather here and they just don't have tornadoes. Well we do and last night the weather was really bad here. So she comes in and starts to talk to me about what happened...Her husband had said that if you heard a noise that sounded like a train coming toward you that it was probably a tornado and the safest place for them was in the creek bed behind their house. Last night they heard the 'train noise' and headed down to the creek and ducked down. A few minutes later the lady looked up, smacked her husband and said "You idiot there really is a train, it's not a tornado!" Gotta love the old people!


Happy Wednesday...

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Weekend Flashback

So this weekend was awesome!

Friday: I didn't do much it was a total relaxing night for me which was perfect.

Saturday: I did have to work from 8:30 to 12 but after that it was on! I went home did some laundry and tanned by the pool for a few hours then got ready to go out with the girls! This is when the madness ensues! My friend (we will call her blon-D) came and we totally trashed the bathroom of my apartment with makeup and straighteners and curling irons and clothes... After we were well groomed and looking cute we met another friend (we will call her Cali) at a restaurant/sports bar to watch the UFC fight outside. Then it started to rain so we went to the next stop, a country bar/line dancing spot/fav local hangout. We went in and straight to the bar. We each bought an Alabama Slammer (don't ask what's in it, I have no clue) and finished watching the fights there. This was the best idea ever because the TVs were at the bar and we probably got at least 4 more drinks each bought for us by guys that we had no intention of really talking to. Some wobbly line dancing went on even though we didn't know the dances and some more dancing of other kinds. We had many "deep convos" to avoid dancing with guys on the slow songs or dancing with them in general.

Sunday(or Saturday night, whichever): We decided to leave the bar about 2 a.m. to go to the Waffle House. If you don't have one of these where you live you are missing out and its basically like a 24/7 trashy diner. But upon reaching the parking lot of the bar we discovered a horse trailer with several horses in it just sitting there so of course we had to pet the beautiful animals. Cali grabbed her video camera out of her truck and we proceeded to pet the horseies! Some other people approached to pet them too and I then let everyone know that we should let them out so they wont be made into glue. Yes, horses are made into some types of glue. It's very sad and very true... We finally made it to the Waffle House video camera in tow. We stole a sign from there and threw it into the back of Cali's truck. We aren't very good thieves because blon-D got the ink all over her arm. Just before walking in an older, very redneck couple was walking out so Cali asked them what was their favorite southern tradition and they said mooning! Glad we avoided the showing of said southern tradition. After ordering our food guess who shows up?? A very drunk drink buyer from the bar! So awkward because we totally avoided him after we got our free drinks! I arrived home at about 3, got into bed about 3:45 and got up that morning at 7 for church! Luckily I had time to take a nap later that afternoon.

Sunday night: Me and blon-D watched "The Women" and chilled for a while. That was about it!


Hope your weekend was awesome! Happy Tuesday

Saturday, June 13, 2009

My Pop

Back in March my grandpa, who we called Pop, passed away. The day before he passed away my husband's daughter was born (read more about that here: http://lifesmixedbag.blogspot.com/2009/05/little-history.html) so I never really took the time to think about him and how much he meant to me until just recently. As I was remembering him I remembered a great time that we had together when I was about 7 or 8.

It was the summer and Pop wanted to take me, my brother, and my cousin fishing. Well I had never been fishing of course, I was pretty young, and I did not know what all this entailed so I was very excited about it. That morning my mom dropped my brother and I off at Pop's house and little did she know that we all piled in the bed of my grandpa's truck! How fun for us but the moms would have had a heart attack had she known. On the way we stopped by the local store to get some snacks (remember sixlets?! Those were great!) and bait. At this point I had just realized that 'bait' was live crickets and worms! EWWW! I didn't really know what the 'bait' was for so little did I know that I would have to touch them if I wanted to catch anything. We made it to the lake in one piece and got the fishing poles and bait out, went to the edge of the lake and the boys all started putting hooks on the string and bait on the hooks. This was when I realized that I would have to touch the living, crawling, jumping, slithering, gross bugs! I tried to play it cool, acted like it didn't bother me. I didn't want to be thought of as uncool! So I thought I would start off with the cricket first and reached into the little box they were in and immediately I jerked my hand out and when I did oh it was BAD! This sent the entire box flying and it spilled on the ground. SO that sent me jumping and pllloooop right in to the water! It was shallow, luckily, so I hoped out as fast as I went in. But the boys and my Pop were already in hysterics. I started crying... still soaking wet my Pop came over, wrapped a big towel around me and baited my line for me the rest of the day! What a great grandpa (and man in general) he was!

Friday, June 12, 2009

Friday Funnies!!

This comes from an actual co-worker of mine who moved to good ole SC about 5 years ago and they are so true and funny:

THINGS I HAVE LEARNED BY MOVING
TO THE SOUTH


1. A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2. There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live here .

3. There are 10,000 types of spiders. All 10,000 of them live here.

4. If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

5. 'Onced' and 'Twiced' are words

6. It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.

7. 'Jaw-P?' means, 'Did y'all go to the bathroom?

8. People actually grow and eat okra.

9. 'Fixinto' is one word.

10. There is no such thing as 'lunch.' There is only dinner and then there is supper.

11. Iced tea is appropriate for all meals and you start drinking it when you're two.. We do like a little tea with our sugar.

12. Backwards and forwards means, 'I know everything about you'.

13. The word 'jeet' is actually a phrase meaning, 'Did you eat?'

14. You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is.
You work until you're done or it's too dark to see..

15. You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH EM.

16. You measure distance in minutes.

17. You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

18. All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

19. You know what a 'DAWG' is.

20. You carry jumper cables in your car --- for your OWN car.

21. You only own four spices: salt, pepper, Tabasco and Ketchup.

22. The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football.

23. You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

24. You find 100 degrees Fahrenheit 'a bit warm.'

25. You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

26. Going to Wal-Mart is a favorite past time known as 'goin' Wal-Martin' or 'off to Wally World.'

27. You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good hog killin' weather.

28. Fried catfish is the other white meat.

29. You call a hose a 'hose pipe'.

30. You put an 's' on the end of every word (i.e. checkings, KMarts)

Thursday, June 11, 2009

I'm no pro!

So yesterday was my husband's birthday! We didn't do too much to celebrate since it wasn't one of those big birthday numbers and because we are very broke, but I did make him a cake. When I told him I was doing this he was a little skeptical (OK a lot skeptical) but he appreciated the thought. I have a tendency to slightly over cook things, he calls it burnt but I like to say well done or Cajun! Anyways on Tuesday night I decided to bake a strawberry cake from a recipe that my mom had made once before. I had all the ingredients and tools needed and the recipe seemed pretty easy. So I got through the mixing and baking with no problems at all! I didn't even over bake anything! YAY! Then it was time for the frosting and although I had to use some unconventional ways (i.e. my fingers) to smooth it all out it looked fabulous!

Well last night we cut it and had a piece and let me just say that my husband actually said that he now believed that I could cook! It was pretty tasty even though I am not the biggest fan of strawberries. So now there is a huge chunk gone and that makes me very happy. This may just start a new love of baking for me. :)

Happy Thursday.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

A few open letters

Dear PBS,

I would like to thank you for putting one great and wonderful show on your station. Antiques Roadshow is the best. You all should definitely fill all of your time slots with this one show! I am not a fan of any other shows on your station but you have a winner with this one. The show is great but the fact that you wait until the very end for a very few commercials is fantastic! Keep Antiques Roadshow on forever!

Sincerely,
Addicted




Dear Honda,

I am sending much appreciation to you for the cars that you make. In particular the Accord and more specifically the burgundy '02 that I drive daily. After all the hell I have put that car through and all the oil changes that I have missed and roads that I speed down I am surprised it is still running! Even my wreck a few weeks back has not slowed big red down, she is still moving along the highways with the best of 'em. I have owned many Honda's in the past 5 years and none have let me down. One of them even won a trophy in an Atlanta car show 4 years ago. Hopefully when I decide to get a new car it will be a Honda!

A big thank you,
Dedicated



Dear Mom and Dad,

Although you don't read this blog and probably don't even know what a blog is I still will write you a thank you note because all of the people that may read this need to know that y'all are awesome. I may not have always realized it but now I see how much you have done and still continue to do for my brother and I. One of the biggest things that you have done for me is raise me in a Christian home. No matter how many times I hated the punishments you gave me I knew that God loved me so much that he sent his son, Jesus, to die for me and save me from my sins. You both have shown me what a great marriage is supposed to be, and how things just seem to work out when we put our faith in God. You also raised me to be independent. You don't meddle in my life like I see happening to some friends, neither do you leave me high and dry when I need a little help (like right now). You have been there to support me even when you don't totally agree with my decisions (like getting married at 18 and then staying with someone I love despite the affair and child), but you give advice and let me work it out. I love you both and am blessed more than I deserve to have you.

With lots of love,
Your favorite (and only) daughter



That's all for now! Happy Tuesday :)









Friday, June 5, 2009

Friday Funnies

Enjoy!!!


The Lie Detector


John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks. His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change.
One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.
It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late..
"Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?"asked John.
"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project,"said Tommy.
The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.
"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school."
"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy.
"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.
"The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair.
With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."
"I am ashamed of you son," said John.. "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents."
The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.
Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!"

The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a lot of free trips around the sun!

Since I am running out of topics for blogging I thought I would do something different. This would be something I would find interesting on someone else's blog so here we go---My favorite quotes! Most of these I am unsure of the source but I am sure they were from someone great!

Excuses are the tools of the incompetent.


Its easy to accept a persons faults if you don't see them every day.


The urge to run is the instinctive response of anyone suddenly faced with danger or disaster


Do not walk behind me for I may not lead. Do not walk in front of me for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me. Pretty much just leave me alone!


Experience comes just after you really need it.


There are risks and costs to action but they are far less than the long range risks of comfortable in action.


The journey of a thousand miles starts with an empty gas tank.


Honesty is the best policy but insanity is the best defense.


Don't take life too seriously, you wont make it out alive anyways.


A conclusion is the place where you get tired of thinking.


Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until they speak.


I use sarcasm because its easier to deal with stupid people that way!



Happy Thursday!