What I Really Do At Work

So Miss B (best friend) and I were emailing back and forth today and got on the subject of what she wants in a guy. See she is newly divorced from my cousin (yeah I know that's strange) and has been talking with some different guys and just cant seem to find what she is looking for. She has talked to some really creepy guys and some ok guys just not ready for a relationship, tall guys and too- short- for- her- guys, high school sweet hearts and men old enough to be her dad... the list goes on. So I made her her "perfect guy" list of must haves:

Tall
Military
Bad Ass (not to be confused with an assh***)
Romantic
Secure
Hot
Nice Body
Not Married
Preferably a Dad
Older
Protector

then I thought of some more:

(insert eye color) - Green/blue
(insert hair color) - anything but red
Caucasian
Nice Dresser
Not Gay (or Metro)
Nice Car
Good Job
Established
No Crazy Family

I am sure the list could go on for days but basically the point was to show her how picky she is being! I mean really, I don't mind some higher standards but having a height requirement (at least 6') is a little excessive! So after the list I told her that we could just lump all of this together in to a phrase-- Perfectly Impossible. She agreed but is still hopeful LOL!

Then I got to emailing another work friend of mine (we can call her Berger) about a "fight" she had. She is newly married, less than a year, and they are trying to have a bebe. Every time they do the deed they put a quarter into a jar to keep track and to save some money. Well the roll of quarters Berger had purchased for this sole purpose was empty and she knew they hadn't had sex 40 times already! So of course the culprit was her hubby and he bought a candy bar with the change and couldn't understand why she was so upset about some quarters! So she told him that she had written "sex" on every quarter trying to make him feel bad which didn't work because he is a typical man. Well that was it! That was the end of their so called fight! I mean where was all the yelling and slamming doors and kicking walls (yes, I have done both and more)?? So I told her that they really needed to have a knock down drag out fight about something pointless so that they can have really good make up sex. I think that may be the best way to conceive. Screw all the fertility drugs she's on (Clomid shlomid) and all the endometreosis surgeries she's had just get into a good quality quarrel. Maybe the stress will make the sperm swim faster.


Yeah basically I have meaningless conversations with friends on work time but that's what gets the job done, I promise!

Happy Thursday