Saturday, May 30, 2009

Saturday Snickers

Since I didnt get to post Friday Funnies yesterday I will do it now! These are great and although we all may not feel like this all the time some of us feel like this some of the time! Enjoy! Happy weekend...


Subject: Matrimony

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, Or get married and wish you were dead.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another, 'Aren't you wearingYourWedding ring on the wrong finger?' 'Yes, I am. I married the wrong man. '

A lady inserted an ad in the classifieds: 'Husband Wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine. '

WHEN A WOMEN STEALS YOUR HUSBAND, THERE IS NO BETTER REVENGE THAN TO LET HER KEEP HIM.

A woman is incomplete until she is married. Then she is finished .

A little boy asked his father,'Daddy, how much does it cost to get married? 'Father replied, 'I don't know son, I'm still paying. '

A young son asked, 'Is it true Dad, that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?' Dad replied, 'That happens in every country, son. '

Then there was a woman who said,'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married, and by then, It was too late. '

Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say -- talk in your sleep.

Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.

First guy says, 'My wife's an angel! 'Second guy remarks, 'You're lucky, mine's still alive. '

AND NOW FOR MY FAVORITE!!!
Husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop with their nine children. A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and the nine kids are able to fit onto the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk. After a while, the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man as he taps it on the sidewalk, and says to him, 'Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick? That ticking sound is driving me crazy. The blind man replies, 'If you had put a rubber at the end of YOUR stick, we'd be riding the bus, so shut up.

Thursday, May 28, 2009

It's all good

Even though I have no money the bills will continue to come so I figure why worry? It will all work out because there are higher powers that govern how my life goes. Even though I have serious marital problems I am still married and I still care about my husband so why put un-needed stress on my self? I could complain but that wont change things. God is the higher power that will take care of me. Now I am not saying that I or anyone else should sit back and do nothing while the bills pile up or argue with the spouse for no reason but I am saying "let go and let God". Do the most you can with what you have then leave the rest up to the big guy. Sometimes life will throw you a curve ball, in my case a full 9 innings of them, but I have learned so much... learned how to hit those curve balls out of the park and run those bases! Our trials are what makes us who we are. They make us stronger, wiser, and more beautiful inside and out. I don't believe that God will let us go through something that we cant handle, we are his children. But sometimes He may take us through things that break us down and get us a little dirty but if we let Him do things His way He will pick us up, bring us closer to him and brush us off! I am still waiting for that part and I know that when it happens my life will be blessed because I blessed God. So my motto is: It's all good!

Happy Thursday!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

A long weekend full of emotions

Friday night I didnt do too much, just went and ate with the family and relaxed at home while holding down the couch! Saturday, however, was a totally differnet story. I had to be at work at 8:30 and at 12:30 I met my husband to go to the lake with some friends. We all had a great time riding the jet ski and the boat, laying out in the sun, eating and throwing back a few cold ones! :) We got back in town about 10 and ended up ordering pizza and watching the greatest show on HBO ever called East Bound and Down. So I didnt get into bed until pretty late but it was toatlly worth it! Sunday I got up extra early to go to church then went and ate with my family for lunch and did laundry. It seems that this Sunday's activities are becoming pretty routine and I actually sort of enjoy it.

Monday brought on the water works for me. I knew what was coming but I didnt expect it to be so hard.... The house that my husband and I owned has been in foreclosure and in about 2 more days he and all of our stuff has to be out or we lose it. I thought that when this happened he would finally move in with me and things would be better. But apparently he isnt ready for that and he seems to think that if he lives with me he wont be able to see his daughter anymore. I dont understand his thinking at all but I was willing to let him take some more time to work things out. So the plan was for him to bring me all of the stuff that we consider to be mine. Well on Monday morning my husband and his dad were there with all of my stuff and it seemed like everything just came to a head and came out in the form of tears. Once all of the stuff was inside and they were about to leave all I could do was stand there and cry. To me all of that stuff reminded me that my husband wasnt going to be living with me and it would be a while before he would. It also made me think how easy it would be now for him to just call it quits. I mean I had my stuff and he had his and technically we wouldnt ever have to see each other again. I am usually so strong and dont show a lot of emotion but it just all came out. My husband tried to console me but he just doesnt understand how I feel and when I tell him I feel very selfish. I guess I just need to learn to have more patience. I thought that waiting two years was being patient enough but God doesnt always follow our little time tables. After I got through my emotional break down I started to upack the boxes and arrange the furniture. I now have a table to eat at and pictures for my walls and candles. Then I went to eat with my family for Memorial Day (man we sure do seem to eat a lot!!!). So all in all I guess the long weekend did turn out to be pretty decent. Hope every one had a good one too!!

Friday, May 22, 2009

Friday Funnies

The spoon:
A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization.

Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed that the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed that he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'
'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all of our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour.
If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed.
I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the waiter's fly. Looking around, I saw that all of the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. So, before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'
'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned that we can save time in the restroom.
By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%. I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'


'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'

Thursday, May 21, 2009

blog, blog, blog... what shall we blog?

sooo glad its warm weather
sooo not glad about all the rain we've been having

happy it's almost the weekend
bummed that I have to work on Saturday

excited about what is in store for my life
scared that I will make lots of mistakes in that life

greatful that I have a job
however I could probably use two jobs

like working for the bank
wish all customers and coworkers had common sense

wish I had financial stability
money cant buy happiness

glad that I have great friends
wish I could spend more time with them

completely in love with my husband
hope that our relationship will be better soon

everything happens for a reason
don't always know the reasons






Tuesday, May 19, 2009

My life update:

I had to go to court today for my ticket that I got from the wreck a few weeks ago... It actually turned out pretty well to my surprise! I got there at 9 this morning and had to wait until 10:30 but the wait was worth it because the ticket was reduced by about $150 and all the points were dropped YAY! So either luck or God was on my side because stuff like that never happens to me!

My husband will probably be moving in with me over the coming weekend (read earlier posts if you dont understand this). This scares me slightly but it will make things a lot easier, financially and as far as our relationship goes, on both of us. I dont quite know how the whole baby thing will workout because the mother of his child hates me with ever fiber of her psycho being. But I am willing to do whatever it takes to keep him and the baby in my life. So I will give another update on how all this turns out in a few weeks...


In other news: Dancing With the Stars finale is tonight! I wont get to watch it but I personally want Melissa to win it all but the other two are good dancers as well... Also American Idol starts their finale tonight and its all over tomorrow. On this I dont really care who wins but I know that Adam will because he is freaking great. I wish I had the time to watch more interesting things but this is really the extent of it. I watch a lot of reruns and a lot of Law and Order, CSI and that sort of thing that really dont have plots that people follow. So thats all for now!

Monday, May 18, 2009

Happy Monday!

Well everyone another weekend has come and gone but dont be saddened by this because next weekend is a long one! Yay for holidays that bring a four day weekend! Although I dont really have plans for the weekend I look forward to doing nothing! As for the past weekend it seemed to be quite busy. Friday my air conditioner just decided to stop working so I have to deal with the ceiling fans and window open until it gets fixed sometime this week. I also went out with the girls to a Japanese steakhouse and it was delicious. The cook we had was very creative and funny and we sang happy birthday to a friend when it really wasnt her birthday! We had a blast but I didnt get to stay out as long as I wanted since I had to be at work Saturday morning by 8! After work the gym was calling my name to come and work out but I totally ignored it and took a little nap. Then a friend of mine, we will call her Anna, and I took her nieces and nephew to Monkey Joe's (which is a inflatable playground deal for the kiddies) and then to Build-a-Bear (which is basically an expensive toy store). That was a very fun and exhausting day for me and an expensive day for my friend! But the kids had fun and we had fun watching them. Sunday was supposed to be a day for relaxing and it would have been perfect with the cool breeze and the rain, but after I went to church and to eat with my parents I had laundry and grocery shopping to do so not much rest was had but I did get into bed a little early. Now its back to work and working out and all that fun stuff. Wish me luck tomorrow because I have to go pay my lovely ticket for the wreck I had the other week. I am praying that they lower it a good bit! FINGERS ARE CROSSED!!

Happy Monday!

Friday, May 15, 2009

Friday Funnies!

Ok I know I have posted a lot of jokes on here lately but as they say laughter is the best medicine! Not to mention that my week has been pretty stressful. I did get my car back yesterday! YAY! But now I am in debt to my parents. Anyways have a laugh...




Cup of Tea. One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me. I was maybe 2 1/2 years old. Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a gift and it was one of my favorite toys. Daddy was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water. After several cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mom came home. My Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!' My Mom waited, and sure enough, here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she watches him drink it up. Then she says, (as only a mother would know...) "Did it ever occur to you that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?"

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

A stressful day means jokes on the blog!

Two couples were playing poker one evening. Jim accidentally dropped some cards on the floor. When he bent down under the table to pick them up, he noticed Bob's wife, Kim wasn't wearing any underwear under her dress! Shocked by this, Jim upon trying to sit back up again, hit his head on the table and emerged red-faced.
Later, Jim went to the kitchen to get some refreshments. Bob's wife followed and asked, 'Did you see anything that you like under there?' Surprised by her boldness, Jim admitted that, well indeed he did.. She said, 'Well, you can have it but it will cost you $500.'

After taking a minute or two to assess the financial and moral costs of this offer, Jim confirms that he is interested.

Kim told him that since her husband Bob worked Friday afternoons and Jim didn't, Jim should be at her house around 2 p.m. Friday afternoon.

When Friday rolled around, Jim showed up at Bob's house at 2 p..m. sharp and after paying Kim the agreed sum of $500 - they went to the bedroom and closed their transaction, as agreed.

Jim quickly dressed and left.

As usual, Bob came home from work at 6 p.m. And upon arriving, asked his wife: 'Did Jim come by the house this afternoon?'

With a lump in her throat Kim answered, 'Why yes, he did stop by for a few minutes this afternoon.' Her heart nearly skipped a beat when her husband curtly asked, 'And did he give you $500?'

Kim, using her best poker face, replied, 'Well, yes, in fact he did give me $500.'

Bob, with a satisfied look on his face, surprised his wife by saying, 'He came by the office this morning and borrowed $500 from me. He promised he'd stop by our house this afternoon on his way home and pay me back.'

Now THAT, my friends, is a poker player!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Friday Funny!

HOW TO CALL THE POLICE WHEN YOU'RE OLD.


George Phillips , an elderly man, from Meridian , Mississippi , was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he'd left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing things.

He phoned the police, who asked "Is someone in your house?"

He said "No," but some people are breaking into my garden shed and stealing from me.

Then the police dispatcher said "All patrols are busy. You should lock your doors and an officer will be along when one is available."

George said, "Okay."

He hung up the phone and counted to 30.

Then he phoned the police again.

"Hello, I just called you a few seconds ago because there were people stealing things from my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now because I just shot them." and he hung up.

Within five minutes, six Police Cars, a SWAT Team, a Helicopter, two Fire Trucks, a Paramedic, and an Ambulance showed up at the Phillips' residence, and caught the burglars red-handed.

One of the Policemen said to George, "I thought you said that you'd shot them!"

George said, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"



(True Story)

Don't mess with old people

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Car wreck update

The whole car wreck thing has been way more of a hassle than I ever expected. I thought that I would borrow the car that my mom inherited from my grandpa when he died a few months ago and my car would be ready in a few days. But nooooooooooo! Of course for me things cant be that easy. NEVER!

Friday my parents picked me up from work and we went and go the car. Saturday morning I was supposed to meet my dad and low and behold the car wouldn't start! I didn't think that I was low on gas but we put some in anyways and it started. YAY. When I pulled out of my parking spot, however, the gas hand said that I had a half of a tank. I thought it may have been the way I was parked so I didn't think anything else about it... until Monday rolled around. On my lunch break old faithful stalled out on me and I had to leave it in a median and walk back to work. Later that day my dad came and had to have it towed to a shop to get it looked at. The mechanic said the had the problem fixed and that it would be good to go yesterday (Wednesday). This was not the case when my parents were driving it back. So now the poor old car is back at the shop and I have been driving my mom's car and having to take her to work every morning. Let us all say a prayer now that MY car will be fixed and back in commission on Monday and that old faithful will be fixed for cheap, AMEN!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

A little history

So I guess that now is as good a time as any to tell you a little bit about my crazy life. My husband and I got married very young (probably a little too young), I was 18 and he was 19, but we loved each other and had been together for 7 years so it just seemed like the next step. So, I will start about two years ago. It was the summer time and things seemed to be going well for my husband and I. We had money to pay the bills and had a few extras in life and we had made it through the first year of marriage without any real problems. Then it seemed that all of hell broke lose...

My husband had just turned 21 while I was still 20 and too young to really go out anywhere. So while he was out I was home doing pretty much nothing. He started going out every night and staying out until all hours of the night. This behavior really did not set well with me at all, especially when I suspected that he had been talking to another woman. The partying also started to effect his job by making him late every morning and making him very tired while he was there. After a several weeks of this I confronted him about it and he told me that he just wasn't happy with me and yeah he had been going out with someone else! I was completely crushed and in shock. I didnt really know what to do so I just tried my best to make him happy with me again. This, however, was totally pointless and didnt work at all and seemed to just drive him away more and more. Maybe a month or two went by and I had gotten so sick of living the way we were so I decided that the best thing was for me to leave. So I pretty much bounced around from my parents' house to a friend's house every night and lived out of my car. I would drive by OUR house and see random cars there knowing that they probably belonged to another female. I even saw him and some girl outside once playing with our dog. I got to be very depressed but I would never ever show it because I wanted to be strong and show him that I didnt need him.
This all went on for about 6 months and he eventually covinced me that he had "changed" and that he wanted me to come back, so I did. But he lied. Things hadnt gotten better at all. In fact they seem to have gotten worse. But I tried to tough it out and tried to tell my self that it was just a phase and that soon he would grow out of it and be happy with me again. Boy, was I wrong!! He became friends with the girls dad and they seemed to have a lot in common. My husband tried to tell me that he was only at the girls house to help her dad work on his race car and hunt and things like that. He would tell me that they were just friends and I wanted so badly to believe him but deep down I knew it was all just a lie. There were nights that he wouldnt even come home because he "fell asleep on their couch" or "stayed with a friend". I was so stupid and vulnerable and young that I made my self believe him. I stayed and lived like that for months and months. Meantime I did turn 21 and I thought that would change things between us and that we could go out together and have fun and get back to where we used to be. This totally blew up in my face because I did start going out just not with my husband. Ironically enough this made him very upset with me!! During this time he had managed to lose his job and I was trying to support both of us on my income, which wasn't working at all. But some days I thought that things were getting better and that maybe he was just friends with this chick. Then I snapped back into reality and realized that I was just trying to believe that so that I wouldn't lose the guy I still loved. My husband wanted me to be around but didnt want to make that commitment. Basicallly he wanted to have his cake and eat it too, as the saying goes.
Eventually after many fights and arguments we both decided that the best thing for our relationship would be for me to move out. He thought that since I wouldn't be sitting at home waiting on him and he wouldn't get to see me everyday that he would work harder to see me and spend time with me. I didn't agree with the reasoning but I did agree that I needed to leave. So in May of last year (2008) I moved in with my parents. It wasn't so bad but after I was used to living on my own I felt like I lost a bit of privacy. But it got me out of a bad situation and my parents are absolutely great and loving and very supportive so I was grateful to have a place to go. For a while things did seem to be a little better between my husband and I and then I got the worst possible news. The girl he had been "friends" with was pregnant. Yeah I was in total shock.
Fast forward until about 6 months ago (Nov. 2008)... Things were pretty good between my husband and I. We still had this looming pregnancy issue but we were working things out. We weren't sure if the child was his or if she was even pregnant at all but I had decided to move on and forgive him either way. I still hadn't started living with him but we were spending more and more time with each other and it seemed like we were dating all over again. Things were far from perfect but getting better. Then about January I decided to get a place of my own because I wanted my husband to move in with me and he would need a place to stay because our house was about to be foreclosed on. Well the baby was born on March 20, 2009 and she is my husbands world. The mother has no place to live right now and is staying with a friend so the baby spends every night and weekend with my husband. He still hasn't moved in with me because of custody issues with his daughter but I know that things will somehow work out eventually. I am sure that things will be hard but God is an awsome support system for me and I am putting my total trust in him with this situation.